Doctor Dark and Hellboy
Come a hoofin’ it over here,
Over toward me, and me
Lady licks her teeth, ready to cut ‘em
Down to size. Remarks able she is
To give, to size ‘em up, sum ‘em
Up, summon up somethin’ suitably
Sick-savvy acidic, a critic to cringe
Before, so she is. Oh she is so
Visual-visceral vengeful (viz.
Venomous) to friends and enemies
Alike. She likes ‘em all, licks ‘em
All up with her flicked out flame
Tongue talk, bless her, so she does,
My love, me lady, lickin’ teeth a
Waitin’ for ol’ Hellboy and Doc
Dark a hoofin’ it on over, up close
Now, cloven hooves and uncloven—
She loves ‘em both, for lovin’ lives
And downsizing the big guys fits her
Gig-wise. Well, Black and Red both look
Fell as dead, and both shook and
Fell as dead before me lady’s lead-lined lines.
She lines ‘em up , loves ‘em up,
Looks ‘em up and down,
Lashes out a lickin’ so
Scorchin’, oh that tongue-torch of hers!
Poor sirs all scissored and ribboned,
Served up flickering and flaming
By here naming them so—
Oh and would you look!
Look at that Hellboy
Just a chagrined and grinnin’
Red skin redder than
In the beginnin’, and who
Knew the Dark Doctor’s midnight
Black could blanche bright?
I tell you, me lady lays ‘em
Out, slays the stout-hearted
And highly self-regarded in
Unguarded chitchat, she’ll
Hit that mark, sparks fly
And the mighty high go of a sudden shy.
Oh and I too have the marks
To prove it, her love tongue
Lashings lift me laughing abashed,
Awash in her wit’s worth…
It’s worth it. I love her
Hatchet-habit, wouldn’t have it
Any otherwise.
So all you prize-sized
Wise-in-your-own-eyes-guys,
If you see me and me lady
And you’ve half a mind to hoof it over,
Think it over, talk it over
With Hellboy and Doctor Dark—
Ah, but they know the worth of her
Word-whippings on strapping
Saplings such as yerself.
No, Hellboy and Doctor Dark’ll
No tell tales after dark
About how she gobbled ‘em.
They’ll just jerk you straight
With smirking eyes and say:
‘Don’t worry, she’s no prob-l-em.’
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